söndag 17 maj 2009

What is good and bad about restricting the freedom??

I would say that as long as I’m safe I don’t care how the government does it. Of course I couldn’t live with someone watching me in my own home, but in public it would be ok. In Sweden everyone is so negative about surveillance, videocameras or wire-taping. But on the other hand it there is a crime committed they expect the police to find all the evidence and solve the case instantly. According to me those two requests doesn’t match.

The citizens need freedom to be pleased and live a joyful life. We in the west are spoiled with that, thanks to the democracy. Without democracy we won’t be able to preserve our freedom but without surveillance more and more innocent people will be killed. In the state the world is now, we need to be supervised. In fact, we’ve put ourselves in this position. If people had been more accepting, not so suspicious to new things and people there wouldn’t be war in the world, there wouldn’t be any terrorist and we wouldn’t need to discuss this question.

Restrictions like the new internetlaw, which controls what you can download from the internet, reduces the citizens’ freedom. It doesn’t allow you to download illegal files and for example music and movies that you haven’t paid for. The law helps to prevent crimes like childporn, strategies for terrorist acts and so on. But it also put a stop to “normal people that just want to share files with each other. It puts a stop to a piece of freedom but it prevents some crimes, maybe a crime that would have hit you.

The bank system is also one way that controls the citizens’ freedom. The service that offers you a variety of creditcards, internetaccess and around the clock customer service also note everything you pay or do with your card. In a way it monitors you more than you think the same with your cellphone. But these things we don’t criticize these things we appreciate.

So to round this up I think that everything that keeps us safe should be allowed to take place. But I also think that we need to learn how to behave to each other, do more restrictions aren’t necessary to keep us safe. I can’t say that the way the society are now is perfect, but that’s what’s offered and you have to do the best you can out of the situation. And if I have to give up some of my freedom to live I will, but only to a curtain point, after that it’s not worth it.

2 kommentarer:

  1. It is a really good text, with interesting points and with a clear structure. I totally agree with your point of view.
    However I also found some mistakes that could improve your writing.
    In the title I think you might edit out “the” since you are not referring to a specific kind of freedom. The same in the second paragraph “the citizens”, since you are talking about citizens in general you should remove the article. And at the end of the title question I think you should use one interrogation mark instead of two.
    In the fourth line of the first paragraph you wrote it, instead of if.
    Besides, in the second paragraph, I would suggest to use a comma after “…and people”, otherwise it is kind of difficult for the reader to follow the idea of the sentence.
    In the third paragraph I think you should separate internetlaw, because it is not a unique word. In the same part you made another mistake since you forgot the final –s in “it also puts”. I found out the same error in the next paragraph you missed the –s in the verb “note”, because you are talking about the service.
    In general, I think you should use the long forms of the verbs instead of the short ones, but it is just a suggestion since in informal written English short forms are also used.

    On the whole as I pointed out above, this is a very good piece of text so excellent work!

    Kind regards :=)
    Lucía

    SvaraRadera
  2. You make your opinion very clear in this text, and explain why you feel this way with well structured sentences and paragraphs.

    Apart from the comments by Lucía, I would also like to note that curtain is a kind of drape ;-); I think you meant certain In your last sentence.

    Also, you missed the last "-sign when refering to "normal people"

    Lastly, I think that there needs to be a punctuation mark in the last sentence in paragraph 4, to give the text a better flow.

    Otherwise, very well written!
    David

    SvaraRadera