The first thing that comes to my mind when discussing childhood is parents. Without good parents children are lost. Without someone to guard them thru life they will not experience the best of it.
Toys, games, clothes, all material things affect the child growing up. Of course it’s fun to have those things. Sometimes it’s even necessary to have them. Even if it’s just a piece out of life, it’s worth millions in children’s eyes. Because without them, it’s pretty easy to be bullied. I don’t say that I like it, I absolutely don’t, that material things should decide whether your classmates want to be friends with you or not. But I know that sometimes is this the case.
But with just the material things, new clothes, all the latest videogames and a new pony, children won’t get a excellent childhood. You need to add love, love from family and friends. Knowing that your parents always will be there for you and support you, whatever happens, gives you comfort, self-confidence and happiness.
I grew up on a farm, and had to learn how to take care of myself and my siblings pretty early. At least if you compare with some of my friends. I did some easy cooking and cleaning for example. When this was taking place I thought it was quite boring, but now, looking back I realize that this taught me a lot, taking responsibility and so on. This is something you don’t think of as much when you’re young, but more when you start growing up.
So my opinion and conclusion is that the parents are the most important experience children have during their youth. If you combine the love from the parents and responsibility with a lot of play and games you will get the perfect start of a wonderful life.
Prenumerera på:
Kommentarer till inlägget (Atom)
This is a very balanced piece of text. You make a good case, and you present it well.
SvaraRaderaStructure:
Coherent, unified paragraphs, clear introduction and conclusion.
Language:
Your language is very good but there is always room for improvement. I have a few suggestions:
-Avoid the spelling "thru" if you can - it is very informal. Of course, I guess one might argue that a blog IS informal, but I would still avoid it if I were you.
-Swedish students have a tendecy to overuse the progressive form ("-ing"). The simple form is often the correct form to use, but not always. When you are talking about something permanent, the simple form should be used. When talking about something ongoing and/or temporary, the progressive form should be used. Hence: "I'm not saying that I like it, I absolutely don't" (paragraph 2).
-Word order is another tricky area. Unlike Swedish, English is a Subject-Verb language, which mean that the subject (nearly) always comes before the verb. Hence: "But I know that sometimes this is the case" (paragraph 2). You've used Swedish word order: when the clause begins with an adverbial, the verb comes before the subject in Swedish.
-Short adverbials are normally placed between the auxiliary verb and the main verb in English. Hence: "Knowing that your parents will always be there..." (paragraph 3).
Keep it up!
/Teacher
I think your text was very easy to read and to follow. I agree with you that parents have a great responsibility in making the upbringing of their child/children, as great as possible. I like that you shared something from your own childhood, it makes the text more personal.
SvaraRaderaYou have a good structure and the language is also very good. I can't really give you much more criticism than that the teacher has given you already. The only other thing I though about was that you maybe shouldn't begin the third paragraph with a “but”. When it is a new paragraph and kind of a new topic you could just write: “With just the material things, new clothes, all the latest videogames and a new pony, children won’t get a excellent childhood “.
/Kristin
Again not much to say after the teacher and Kristin. Anyway, I´ll try to add my two cents.
SvaraRaderaThe centrla idea is clear and really easy to follow, in fact, I agree mostly with it. The only thing I could say is that, maybe, the text is quite simple as it doesn´t look deeply in the problem. But I think that is not a big issue.
Your use of the english is great and despite the error that the teacher has pointed out you have done a good job here.
/Mikel